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<!-- /*--><!--/*--> Oluthando...: And so, we are grown ups

And so, we are grown ups



Life has been absolutely crazy for the past 2 weeks. You know that saying that goes "Anything that can, could have, or will go wrong, is going wrong, all at once. If there are two or more ways to do something, and one of those ways can result in a catastrophe or pregnancy, then someone will do it." Firstly, my nanny/helper lost her mother. This was a huge blow for her as she had just lost a sister a couple of months prior. Between her and the mom, there were 6 mouths to be fed, including her deceased sister's kids. And now her mother past away. I was out of words when she was sobbing on our kitchen floor. Where do you even begin comforting a person who just lost their last hope. Saying 'things will be better' is just not good enough. I hugged her and spent hours with her as she shared her life story. By the look on her face, everything was still so surreal. I just let her offload all that pain. She immediately went home to go prepare for the funeral.

So here I was in the middle of intense plant commissioning, and no helper around for two weeks. And then, there's my  husband's aunt to passed away in this period. In the Zulu culture, makoti (daughter-in-law aka myself) has to be fully present and involved in the entire funeral procedures. In our case, it was impossible. We had to be grown ups and make serious decisions. My husband drove down to Durban (by his lonesome self) and helped in organizing the funeral. I was so proud of him because he was such a man. The perfectionist in me was sad though that I couldn't be there. I felt that I failed him. I'm the only makoti and I wasn't there. Yet my in-laws showed so much appreciation for my contribution, even though I wasn't present. That just had to be enough.

We agreed that I would carry on like normal on the work front. Unfortunately, we live in a society that still shuns working moms with a catastrophe and rewards the dads in the same situation. My line manager is amazing and very understanding, but I just didn't want to give off the 'weak' impression. And so I called my little sister to be on babysitting duties. And for two weeks, we were on Survivor. The house could've have been declared a nuclear hazard site. Were the kids breathing? Tick, Did they eat? Tick, Did they have a roof over their heads? Tick. Are they happy? Tick. Hey, we fulfilled all "Maslows Hierachy of Needs" and that all that matters. We survived.

How have you been the last couple of days?
Anything exciting or life changing that I missed out on?