A letter to my Superman - Happy 4th birthday

Writing this letter to you means so much to me. This is not just a letter about your 4th birthday, it is so much more than that. I'm just pouring out emotions because 4yrs later, I feel so much stronger and better. All your birthdays were bitter-sweet. Bitter because they always marked a reminder of my scary Postnatal depression movie. I would be so confused as to how I should feel. Half the day would be filled with appreciation and love, the other half anxiety and doubt.

I hope you'll always know that I love you. I wanted you so much that we had an IUI to conceive you. The first year of your life was such a daze for mommy. Crying, extremely anxious, doubting my abilities as a mom. I was so scared to lose you for some reason, knowing very well that GOD is in control. I held on too tight, wondered if I'm enough a mom to you, if you even knew who I was. Each year came with a bit of healing. I started crying less. I started appreciating you more. You gave me so much strength. Every time you cried and yelled for mommy, you made me feel so wanted and needed. I needed to feel that. To know that you love me regardless of my imperfections. Because of that, we'll always have a special relationship. You see, you helped me be a better person. Not just a mom but an overall secure woman who believes in herself. Yes, you helped me love myself.

So I write this to you on your fourth birthday because I'm completely out of the storm. Today was a very happy day for mommy. I cried this morning, not because I was sad but your reaction when you opened your minion toys. You were so excited and happy. I looked at you and knew that I am a great mom. By no means am I perfect, but I love you and that's enough to you. May God bless you and help you reach your highest potential. May you exceed your own expectations. Happy birthday my little Superman...