One of my greatest fears is.....

Change.

My husband sums it up nicely, "You are scared of any new thing into your life, be it good or bad"

Metathesiophobia - Phobia of change.

For as long as I can remember, I've always been anxious at any introduction of something into my life.
When I was young, I used to fear growing up. That to me meant I'd die someday. And that meant weight gain as well. And when I became a teenager and understood all about periods and babies, I would fear being pregnant even when I wasn't doing the nasty.
I rememer I dumped my first boyfriend for kissing me on the lips. That to me translated to pregnancy.
And trust I knew all about the birds and the bees. This just shows the lengths of crazy I go to to avoid change.

As this fear grew, I changed into a major control freak. A perfectionist to the core.
For some reason my mind told me If I could control my surrounding, my life, people around me, then I would be limiting suprises. Therefore making change quite easy to deal with.
I would starve myself to make sure I'm skinny.
Stay in an extremely unhealthy marriage to avoid change.

But the walls came crashing down. I was forced to face change head on. I looked change in the eyes and thought, ok, If I die through this, let it be.
But I didn't. And I came out on the other side an even better person.
I'm still a bit scared of change though, but most of the time embrace it.