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<!-- /*--><!--/*--> Oluthando...: One of my greatest fears is.....

One of my greatest fears is.....


My husband sums it up nicely, "You are scared of any new thing into your life, be it good or bad"

Metathesiophobia - Phobia of change.

For as long as I can remember, I've always been anxious at any introduction of something into my life.
When I was young, I used to fear growing up. That to me meant I'd die someday. And that meant weight gain as well. And when I became a teenager and understood all about periods and babies, I would fear being pregnant even when I wasn't doing the nasty.
I rememer I dumped my first boyfriend for kissing me on the lips. That to me translated to pregnancy.
And trust I knew all about the birds and the bees. This just shows the lengths of crazy I go to to avoid change.

As this fear grew, I changed into a major control freak. A perfectionist to the core.
For some reason my mind told me If I could control my surrounding, my life, people around me, then I would be limiting suprises. Therefore making change quite easy to deal with.
I would starve myself to make sure I'm skinny.
Stay in an extremely unhealthy marriage to avoid change.

But the walls came crashing down.  I was forced to face change head on. I looked change in the eyes and thought, ok, If I die through this, let it be.
But I didn't. And I came out on the other side an even better person.
I'm still a bit scared of change though, but most of the time embrace it.