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<!-- /*--><!--/*--> Oluthando...: An angel sent my way...

An angel sent my way...

I am in love with my therapist.  She, (yes SHE) is brilliant at what she does.  Not only is she amazing, but she had been through severe Postnatal Depression.  And 7 years later when she was still having serious up and downs, she was diagnosed with Bipolar 2. 

I've been quiet for the past couple of weeks because for a while it was tough, really tough.  Overnight I had reverted back to the initial stages of pnd. It just started with the Obsessive thoughts, being scared that my family is going to vanish....Thats the hardest part of the whole thing, the Obsessive thoughts.  It's like someone switched the "What If "Button on, and it can't switch off.  Imagine what it feels like to be cheated on by your partner.  1st its shock, followed by anger, then its the crying, and more crying, next thing you know you can't even look at him without thinking about what he did, 'What if she's more beautiful, What if she is pregnant, with a boy I could never give him.  What if he leaves me'.....The thoughts linger in your mind, all day, everyday.  And then you find out he didn't cheat, that girl you saw with him is his cousin, whom you don't know (which doesn't make sense but work with me here....).  Thats what PPOCD does, only unlike your cheating partner this here is caused by a chemical imbalance and hormones (ok maybe ur partner cheating is due to hormones too, hehehehe).  You think about one thing, all day, everyday.  Then you cry about it, because these thoughts wont stop.  And then a couple of days later you wake up like none of it ever happened. You think about what you are going to make for breakfast.  What your outfit for the day is going to be.  And just like that you are back. 

This phase happens to me once in 5months or so.  And so in my darkest hour I go see my beautiful therapist, and we figured out that although I might not have Bipolar 2, I definitely fall in that wide spectrum of mood disorders.  She held my hand and shared her story with me, she made me feel safe and normal.  She says " Why is there stigma around PND and Bipolar and no issues around Hypertension.  They are exactly the same because its our body's way of reacting towards stress".  She tells me which AD's make u skinny, which ones made her stoned out of her mind.  We laugh though the entire session, which goes over by a whooping 15 minutes.  And she doesn't charge me for it.  Just before I leave she tells me that millions of ppl take AD's, that it doesn't change who I am and that I can call her anytime of the day, noon or night.  This here is why I love my therapist. She is angel sent from above.